Volunteering – well sort of

On my next days off I’m going to volunteer at the OKC Humane Society.  Trying to get out and explore new things and meet new people.  When I first got out here I had met a guy whom I thought was going to be the one and had started dating him almost immediately.  It caused me to not really get out and explore anything around this city or state that I was very new to.  It didn’t bother me at first because I was enjoying his company a lot and was having fun.  I had bought a dirt bike because I’ve always wanted to try it and he happened to be really into it.  He’s also very good with technical, mechanical, and whatever kind of stuff, a country boy at heart.  Thought he was the perfect guy for me until, until I actually got to really know him.  He really is a wonderful person however, has a lot to learn about how and when to say something, knowing when to never bring something back up after arguing and finding a solution to something, and how to treat someone.  Don’t get me wrong, he is nice and caring but just doesn’t know certain things and blames other people for everything in a way.  He says he doesn’t but that’s also the other half of it is that he doesn’t think he does anything wrong and that he’s perfect, I blame it on the way he grew up.  Don’t get me wrong either, I’m not perfect but I also don’t deserve a big “f you, get out” when all we are doing is having an argument.  Enough of that.

I’m going to go volunteer helping out some animals and what not.  Whatever I can do.  I want to start volunteering more in hopes to meet new people and find new friends.  I have a couple friends out here but not ones I think would hang out and do things we would all enjoy because personally, I’m not into the bar scene where most people out here are.

Maybe after doing the volunteering at the shelter I’ll start volunteering at old people homes or soup kitchens, maybe things like babysitting or day camp because kids are fun and always can make someone smile.  Smiling is something I feel I need to do more of.  Lately I’m not sure I’ve done enough of it though I’ve not had much to smile about.

Well, enough of that.  Might as well go think about what I’ll be doing on my days off next week aside from the gym and volunteering.

“If we don’t ch…

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”

-Gail

Many changes are happening in my life.  Since graduating college and getting a “career” job, leaving a 10 year grocery store job, life has been changing dramatically.  From working in PA on drilling rigs and being only 6 hours from home to now living in OKC being about 25 hours from what I call home.  It’s a hard transition and people keep telling me I’m doing so well for myself when in fact I feel like I’m going no where and have done nothing.  Maybe I don’t give myself enough credit and maybe I put too much pressure on myself.  I just don’t know and I don’t know how to make myself happy, it’s a hard time right now and I can only keep optimistic that my future will get better if I keep working hard.

I guess I should of started with the fact I am a born New Englander, been there my whole life.  Love the seasons we get, the people we have, the mountains, lakes, and oceans; it’s an all around great place.  Grew up in NH for the summers going to Polly’s Pancake Parlor, stopping by on 93 North to see the Old Man that has fallen since, and went down the Kangamangus highway to look for moose and see some mountains.  Once it’s the Fall, would go up to NH to see some brilliant Fall foliage, nothing can beat it, the smells, fresh air, great people, it’s the place to be.  So from growing up in these types of areas to then coming to OKC where it’s flat, hot, tornado weather; it’s a huge change.  Maybe I’m not ready for change but like the quote says, ” if we don’t change, we don’t grow.  If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living”.  So how does one accept change, accept that family is so far away, accept that where they grew up is no longer right outside their door, accept that they are in a new state with no one they know.  How does one cope with such a change?  We’ll find out, it’s only been about 7 months.